Why did the chicken cross the road? Here’s the Indian perspective.
SOVEREIGN INDIAN: This is the Chickens inherent right as he is
indigenous to this land!!!
MILITANT INDIAN: That chicken should block the road, not cross the
GRASSROOT INDIAN: If the darn chickens need to get across the road, let
’em cross the darn road!
COLONIZED INDIAN: Chiggens should never cross the roads that white men
built before the great white father crosses it first. If the white
father crosses it, it is good. We must then follow.
AMERICANIZED INDIAN: We must have roads. We must cross the roads that
the white man built for us. We have to be thankful to the white man for
this. I don’t know why you Indians are always complaining. You embarrass
us. Chickens are good for us.
REPUBLICAN INDIAN: It’s true that that white man built those roads for
us. We are merely chickens. We will always be chickens until we learn to
build those roads ourselves – for profit.
DEMOCRATIC INDIAN: The chicken crossed the road because he didn’t have
TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren’t traditional because they were
supposed to be on it – not crossing it!
INDIAN GRANDPA: I think he was runnin’ away from rezidential school.
URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road ’cause it was a city, man.
You know what I mean?
NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy,
drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my
POW WOW INDIAN That chicken must have been heading to a 49!
EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein’s theory which
basically posits: “Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?”
REZ INDIAN: What’s a chicken?
IHS INDIAN: I really don’t care why he crossed that road. We still
aren’t paying for no stinkin hospital bills.
BIA INDIAN: They crossed it because of CFR 49, Section 11299, gives them
the authority to do so, under Department of Interior regulations, in the
Executive Branch. They wrote a grant and we funded them. We are very
proud of them.
KFC INDIAN: I’ll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra
TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians passed on from generation to generation says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. In modern education and government, far more advanced strategies have emerged:
1 – Buy a stronger whip.
2 – Change riders.
3 – Threaten the horse with termination.
4 – Appoint a committee to study the horse.
5 – Visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
6 – Lower the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7 – Reclassify the dead horse as “living impaired.”
8 – Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9 – Harness several dead horses together to increase the speed.
10 – Provide additional funding or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.
11 – Create study to see if lighter riders will improve the dead horse’s performance.
12 – Declare the dead horse contributes to the economy as less costly to maintain.
13 – Rewrite expected performance requirements for all horses.
14 – Promote dead horse to a supervisory position.
15 – Leverage the dead horse.
16 – Craft a win-win agreement with the dead horse.
17 – Build a glide path for the dead horse.
18 – Customize someone else’s dead horse to meet our requirements.
19 – Empower the dead horse.
20 – Train the dead horse to envision the desired outcome of his work.
Here are the top 10 things american indian people say to white folks.