Why did the chicken cross the road? Here’s the Indian perspective.
SOVEREIGN INDIAN: This is the Chickens inherent right as he is
indigenous to this land!!!
MILITANT INDIAN: That chicken should block the road, not cross the
GRASSROOT INDIAN: If the darn chickens need to get across the road, let
’em cross the darn road!
COLONIZED INDIAN: Chiggens should never cross the roads that white men
built before the great white father crosses it first. If the white
father crosses it, it is good. We must then follow.
AMERICANIZED INDIAN: We must have roads. We must cross the roads that
the white man built for us. We have to be thankful to the white man for
this. I don’t know why you Indians are always complaining. You embarrass
us. Chickens are good for us.
REPUBLICAN INDIAN: It’s true that that white man built those roads for
us. We are merely chickens. We will always be chickens until we learn to
build those roads ourselves – for profit.
DEMOCRATIC INDIAN: The chicken crossed the road because he didn’t have
TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren’t traditional because they were
supposed to be on it – not crossing it!
INDIAN GRANDPA: I think he was runnin’ away from rezidential school.
URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road ’cause it was a city, man.
You know what I mean?
NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy,
drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my
POW WOW INDIAN That chicken must have been heading to a 49!
EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein’s theory which
basically posits: “Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?”
REZ INDIAN: What’s a chicken?
IHS INDIAN: I really don’t care why he crossed that road. We still
aren’t paying for no stinkin hospital bills.
BIA INDIAN: They crossed it because of CFR 49, Section 11299, gives them
the authority to do so, under Department of Interior regulations, in the
Executive Branch. They wrote a grant and we funded them. We are very
proud of them.
KFC INDIAN: I’ll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra
TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire