Hey, it’s just a game!

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hey it’s just a game

so i am rooting

for the home team

my team

i pledge

allegiance to

the flag of the united

states of sports

statistics and suburbia…

Poet, Larry Jaffe

hey it’s just a game

so i am rooting

for the home team

my team

i pledge

allegiance to

the flag of the united

states of sports

statistics and suburbia

i’m rooting for my team

my home team

the new york jews

or the ny kikes as

they are fondly known

but yesterday some

native hebrews

came running out

to protest the game

they claimed we

were stealing their

heritage and mocking

their name

just because

our mascot

runs around the

field in native hebrew garb

you know he has those

cute spit curls on the side

of his head

and he wears one of

those yarmulke things

a beany on his head

and one of their prayer shawls

it’s supposed to be

authentic so i don’t

really know what their problem

is after all it’s just a game

and we make sure

that when we are rooting

for the team that we

use all the proper

gestures in the stands

many of us have even practiced

like we copied our shoulder

shrugs from

vaudeville acts they

show on the big screen

and when the whole

crowd shouts OY

it is enough to raise

the hairs on the back

of your head

and when we chant

shalom when the

team is up to bat

well we just seem

undefeatable somehow

and well we

even know how

to do that little dance

jews are known to do

at weddings and such

we are very authentic

you know

and hava nagilla

is a great tune

we sing it and dance it

in the stadium

thousands of us doing

it together

especially when our rabbi mascot

goes into his prayer dance

out in the bleachers

he looks so real

he looks so jewish

you would never know he is not

i think they use makeup

to get that effect

or maybe he wears one

of those life masks

molded off a real rabbi

to get that effect

all i know is that he

really knows how

to get the crowd going

with his prayers and stuff

i heard next year

they may get another

guy out there with him

who can sing

they call him

a cantor or something

i think because of

eddie cantor

a dead jewish singer guy

i mean i don’t know what

these hebrews are

complaining about

i think we are honoring them

and paying tribute

to them when our little jews

are running the base paths

and we cheer them on

screaming la chaim

another quaint jewish

authentic saying

at the top of our lungs

personally i think it is

really picky of them

to object

i mean the mascot

and the team logo

look so authentic

we took careful

pains to not be

offensive and be

politically correct

you know

we did not make

the nose on the mascot

rabbi’s face too big

did not want to be

objectionable

otherwise no one

would come out to

the game

© 1997 lgjaffe

Jaffe has been featured in poetry venues and festivals both throughout the U.S. and abroad. His web site, Poets4Peace has won numerous awards. Jaffe is the International Readings Coordinator for the United Nations Dialog Amongst Civilizations poetry project.